I agree with many of your points here as well. It would be scary for me to start a relationship with a guy I am not attracted to no matter how much synergy we had, because I believe physical chemistry is something that can keep a relationship going in tough times. It has in my past and at this point, despite my many attempts to give guys like “Mr Wish I Could Be Attracted To You A Chance”, I don’t think I could “fall” for someone without it. To me, without it, I will never have a true romance. I suppose I was socialized, like many other women, to want the whole package. If a guy doesn’t do it for me physically, but we connect on many other levels, I usually wish to make him a friend, business partner, or mentor!

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It is pretty clear what I want: It all! Good looking, charismatic, smart, successful, and able to treat me as well as I deserve to be treated! Perhaps as a “Relationship Chef” you think the recipe for the perfect man can be made in the kitchen. Sorry, but it can’t! My expertise has helped me tremendously in terms of my own love life, but I can’t create the perfect “dish” of man anymore than you can!

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I think it all comes down to the person. If you feel like you connect with them and want to have fun, go for it. If you respect yourself and he respects you, then have some fun. Frankly, it is empowering to take control of that aspect of the relationship. Being coy and finally giving in is outdated. Be respectful and take control in the board room and the bedroom. The Boston men/women in your lives will thank you.

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I really think its absurd to ask someone to sleep over on the 3rd date! It seems to be that for a man to even have the balls to think that would happen, they have experienced the many leg spreader roaming around NY and to mistake you for one of them is an insult! I will not even go on a 1st date until I have talked and texted a potential date for at least a few weeks straight, just to get a feel for his personality and who he is. As women we are potentially putting our life in danger by going out with complete strangers, not to mention some of you actually ending up at their houses at the end of the night! I’m sorry some of you don’t, but I value my life and hoping in the car with just anyone you met in the bar or coffee shop is putting your life in jeopardy!

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Compatibility is very much what I am looking for when it comes to matching up my clients and matching up myself. There are many elements of compatibility. The physical is just the start. A guy who looks good in a suit is actually really important to me. I need someone I am physically attracted to as much and perhaps more so than the next girl. I am a Libra with a penchant for beauty and fashion, I do image consulting, and I have a career/lifestyle where attending events and looking your best is important. I take pride in my health and appearance and would be most compatible with someone who does the same. That’s just the minimum though. If I wasn’t looking for the substance that you are I’d be married already. Ha! Anyway, thanks for sharing your story.

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I think looks are the initial attraction, which is normal. What either elevates the relationship is what is inside a person (personality,heart,soul, caring,etc). We have all gone out with attractive people but after a while we realized there was nothing beneath the surface. IMO the best relationships are the ones where you start out as friends and develop. When you don’t initially have any romantic desires with the person, you don’t hold back on your opinions of anything. This allows the other person to see the real no, the the artificial you that is exposed during a dating situation. The dating situation sometimes doesn’t permit your honesty to flow because of the fear of commenting on something that the other person either doen’t agree with or deems offensive.